Mac-ify Your Personal Life

Oftentimes, when people’s personal problems become overwhelming, they turn to an advice columnist. This not only alleviates them of burdensome personal responsibility, and decision making, but also exposes their problems to a wide, ravenous readership.

But who do you write to when your personal problems are Mac-related? Well fret no more, exhibitionist advice-seeker! Macman is here to solve all your problems – publicly!

Dear Macman,

My husband and I have come to a stage in our relationship that I can only describe as lamentable. According to him, I spend far more time with my new 13″ MacBook Pro than I do “strengthening our marriage”. On the one hand, I do admit that things used to be different between us, and a passion was there that has perhaps receded, but on the other hand…my husband certainly doesn’t have a unibody aluminum enclosure.

Is there hope for us, Macman? Is there anything I can do?

-Baffled Belinda

Hello Belinda,
It pains me to hear about how clingy your husband is, but you know how men get! They’re always so emotional, and commitment-centric when it comes to relationships…nowhere near as cool and rational as, say, a 13″ MacBook Pro.

If you really are committed to this schmoe (who, frankly, sounds like a PC user), why not try setting a date with him in your iCal? You could even toggle it to recur weekly, if you don’t feel this will smother you! Heck, you could even change your desktop background in the System Preferences pane to show a photo of yourself with your husband. I assume you have a couple of those from before Mac came into your life.

But seriously, Belinda, level with me: has a decade in a loving, committed relationship truly ever been able to compare with the wondrous bond forged between you and your Apple computer?

Can your husband fan all your documents out in a stack?

Can your husband do wireless, intelligent backups to a Time Capsule?

He probably can’t, Belinda. Because he’s just a man. Your MacBook Pro is your new Life partner. … your iLife partner.

-Macman