What do coast guards do for a living?

December 13th, 2011

Answer: They rescue people from drowning.

Their raison d’être is to react as soon as possible to avoid casualties. Imagine this; you and your friends Mike and Jerry are sailing off the coast of BC, when your vessel hits a rock. No one is around. You’re in trouble. You jump on the vcf radio, but Mike says : “Oh wait, we’re not going to bother these nice gentlemen with our little problem. Let’s scoop the water out, we’ll see how it goes”.
“Makes sense to me,” says Jerry. “And on top of that, the hull is so dirty! I wouldn’t want them to see the boat before we can scrape it clean…”

This situation looks surreal, doesn’t it?

Now imagine that you decide not to pay attention to what your friends are saying, the costguards arrive in no time, and they’re so good at their job, and arrive quickly enough that you’re actually able to fix the crack in the hull in a couple of hours and resume your trip. They even give you a couple of cool navigation tips to prevent your disaster form recurring. By the smile on their face – and on Mike and Jerry’s too – you know that you did the right thing.

At Macinhome, we like it better when things go smoothly. But we are also here for our clients when a hidden rock grounds the boat. In a case of network or system failure; in situations when staff is drowning in complexity, think of us as your mac coastguards.

And don’t feel embarrassed to call us because you think we’re somehow too busy, or because your hard drive is a mess: you’d rob us of the opportunity to save the day!

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Mac users like it customized

December 13th, 2011

We conducted an experiment last month with a selection of clients. We wanted to see how their businesses would benefit from an entirely itemized, customized and ultimately simple service menu. They liked it – it made their life easier. We liked it too – we were able to focus on what we do best: help create a technology ecosystem within which a business can thrive. Please check out our menu, and pick the items that look yummy to you.

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Job’s vision is an inspiration for Macinhome

December 13th, 2011

On October 5, the Apple community was affected by Steve Jobs’ passing. In this regard, the Macinhome team members are just like everybody else: grieved by this immense loss, and sorry for his family and friends. This event has also made us realize how grateful we are. A lot has been said about Mr Jobs’ vision, his unique style and the way he transformed people’s lives. We would like, in our own modest way, to take Apple’s mission of simplicity, as Steve envisioned it, and apply it in the work we do with you. Let us be your heroes for a day, let us bring you simplicity. On a silver platter.

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Apple Employees Disgusted, Ashamed of Original iPad

March 21st, 2011

CUPERTINO, CA - In a press release issued this morning from their Cupertino headquarters, Apple Inc (Fortune500: APL) publicly apologized for the “humiliating shame-casket” that was the original iPad. With the release of the iPad 2, which rectifies many of the original’s “ridiculous failures”, Apple reveals it no longer needs to hide

Kneel

Kneel

behind “absurd claims that the device is magical, or somehow adequate as a replacement for a computer”.

Within the press release’s comprehensive 60-page index of the original iPad’s myriad shortcomings, the company lists a lack of wireless printing support, a cumbersome third edge, and a filing interface for Pages that “looks like it was designed by a tired child.”

Though it remains unclear how many of these issues have been addressed by the iPad 2, which itself still has limited printing support, and a very basic Pages filing interface, Apple insists during the Press Release’s closing pages that the new tablet’s “lack of a third edge truly elevates it into god-hood.”

“The first iPad was essentially a pop-tart with a screen,” the document reads, “but with the iPad 2, by eliminating the unwieldy abomination’s third edge, we have created a sleek, revolutionary device that just makes so much sense.”

“It’s like it was pooped out by a wizard,” it adds, in emboldened, capitalized letters.

By far not the first of its kind, this morning’s press release joins the ranks of several such documents issued by Apple over the years, including an essay on why the original iPhone was a cruel trick played on Man by Satan, how the Clamshell MacBook was scientifically not even a computer, and how several generations of iPods have been directly linked to mass die-outs of birds and fish across the planet.

The iPad 2 currently enjoys total dominion over everyone ever, but is expected to be declared a crime against humanity some time next spring.

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Media Darling Bill Gates Wows Fans, Press

February 5th, 2011

The Camera Loves Bill Gates

The Camera Loves Bill Gates

REDMOND, WA – Microsoft’s Redmond campus was positively electrified this morning, with anticipation of Bill Gates’ annual Powerpoint presentation. Gates, the showy media darling leader of software giant Microsoft, who several year ago coined the term “exCEO”, has become known for his annual reveals of some of Microsoft’s hottest must-have products.

“It really is a zeitgeist” says Microsoft fanatic Gil Thomson, 27, before the show, “last year, this is where he announced Office 2010′s cloud-sharing functionality, and [that] has pretty-much already defined a generation.”

Added Thompson, “I’ve been here since three in the morning.”

The Powerpoint itself was marred as usual by mild technical difficulties which Gates was able to laugh off, deftly controlling the thought process of his fans, and overwhelming them with statistics composed of large, illusory numbers.

“Let’s talk about the .NET framework,” said Gates at one particularly potent juncture, the mesmerized crowd eating out of his hand, “Last year, we released .NET 4.0 as part of Visual Studio 2010, and since then more than twenty thousand…TWENTY THOUSAND developers…have embraced AJAX.”

Leonard Simms, 35, who began hyperventilating and passed out at this point, later revealed to reporters that he had no idea what AJAX was, but “numbers like that don’t lie.”

This year’s Powerpoint was just as bloated with polarizing rhetoric and glee-inducing announcements for fans as in previous years. Working himself up into a dictator-like furor, Gates pounded on his podium and screamed into the crowd:

“This is a massive year for Microsoft. We’ve evolutionized motion controls with our Xbox, we’ve thiefified smartphones with the Windows 7 phone, and now we’re poised to zunify portable music players with the new iPOD.”

Added Gates: “I MEAN ZUNE!!!”

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Steve Jobs Looking For Someone To Jailbreak His iPhone

November 12th, 2010

An Elated Jobs Imagines Free Apps

An Elated Jobs Imagines Free Apps

CUPERTINO, CA – In a press conference held in front of his elegant Cupertino home, Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced this morning that he’s looking for someone to jailbreak his iPhone. Jobs, whose company is known for their strict regulation of what Applications make it onto their phones, stated that he had “seen the neigbour’s kid use it as a USB stick!” and was worried about “what the hell [he] would do in Europe next month.”

Said Jobs, “You know, you can’t just pop the SIM out of these goddamned things.”

Though the iPhone and its sister products, like the iPod and iPad do not support Flash animation, and in the past Jobs has issued heated statements blasting Adobe for their “resource-hogging” platform, Apple’s magnate did briefly touch today on the fact that his iPhone “just will not show Latin TV without it,” and highlighted that “if there’s anyone around who knows, like, a Mac guy, I heard jailbroken phones can still do that.”

Explaining that jailbreaking phones isn’t technically illegal anymore, Jobs also dropped several hints that he intended to use torrent sites to download and exploit copyrighted software. Citing a decades-old feud with Bill Gates (who he implied somehow owns all software on earth), as well as what appeared to be a misunderstanding of the concept of Free Speech, he challenged the press to find one way the pennies he’s saving will “dig into the billions those fatcats are raking in from Angry Birds.”

The press conference ended suddenly, when Jobs received a call on his as-yet unjailbroken phone, and fussed with it incessantly in an effort to answer it. After a couple of minutes, this commotion became awkward and he put the phone away unanswered, but was too worked up to continue addressing reporters.

His last words on the issue as of press time were “these truly are magical pieces of revolutionary technology.”

“But the porn situation on that neighbour kid’s phone is unreal,” he added.

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Dropping iPhone 4 In Toilet Causes Significant Drop In Signal Strength

August 7th, 2010
I doubt this thing will catch on.

iPhone 4

CUPERTINO, CA – The internet is buzzing this week with news of the iPhone 4′s latest technical failure. The revolutionary smartphone which Apple contended would “Change Everything. Again,” has been criticized in the media since its troubled launch

for an antenna problem that seemed to be inherent in every single new device.

Now, after Apple initially downplayed, and then admitted to the fact that cupping your hand around the iPhone 4′s antenna and blocking the signal would – you know – block the signal, various bloggers around the internet are reporting that an even more serious Achilles Heel has been discovered in the phone’s controversial antenna design:

By holding their iPhone 4 over any readily available household toilet, and then letting go of it, thousands of users across the world are finding that signal strength drops not just to one bar, but zero. In fact, operation of the phone after this simple manoeuvre can be nigh impossible.

“I don’t understand how Apple could allow such a glaring technical oversight,” blogged one random highly opinionated person with access to a computer, “Thousands, maybe even millions of people use toilets every day!”

As usual, Apple was slow to acknowledge the crisis. This morning, CEO Steve Jobs released a carefully worded statement contending that “while we hope most Apple customers do use toilets daily, it is only very few of them who will end up dropping their iPhones inside.” Jobs went on to announce that due to the ridiculous media circus, Apple would be offering a free balloon and rubber band with every iPhone 4, allowing it to be safely prepared for toilet-entry. Said Jobs, “We hear your concerns, and we will do whatever it takes.”

Jobs wrapped up his remarks by reminding his customers that most mobile phones, when dropped into a toilet, yield a similar result as the iPhone 4, and that indeed the problem can be reproduced on every iPhone model since the product’s inception.

Public reaction to this sentiment has been mixed.

“My old Nokia 8500 went through the wash in 2002, and it works just fine, thank you!” retorts Don Raymond, an self-described Apple Fanatic disillusioned by the iPhone 4. “I’ve loved Apple since my son first brought me one of them iBots last year, but see if I ever have him buy me anything they make again!”

Jed Leonards, a senior editor at Mashable.com provides a level-headed counterpoint: “Sure, I dropped my iPhone 4 in the toilet as soon as I heard, and I was able to reproduce the problem, but that doesn’t mean I had any sensible reason to do that while trying to make a call. You know?”

How sales of the iPhone 4 weather this latest blow remains to be seen, but Steve Jobs remains quietly confident.

“It’s totally normal for something to have two Achilles Heels,” he points out. “Achilles did.”

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Smart Mailbox “double-search” in Apple Mail!

May 15th, 2010

Did you ever want to search for certain terms (like “invoices” or “sales project”) in the “Entire Message”, only in emails from your contractor Sarah Smith, across all folders and mailboxes? Here’s a great tip on how to do that very quickly.

In Mail, create a new Smart Mailbox named “From Sarah Smith” where the search criteria is:

Smart Mailbox conditions

Smart Mailbox conditions

Once created, highlight that Smart Mailbox in your mailbox list on the left in Mail to view its contents.

Note that all messages are just displayed (referenced) here, they do not actually move here.

Once its contents are displayed, type “invoices” in the search box in the top right, and choose “From Sarah Smith” and “Entire Message” in the grey bar that appears:

Search Terms

The results will show only emails with the term “invoices” in emails from Sarah, across all mailboxes. If you type different search terms in the top right, it will still only search in emails from Sarah Smith.

You can also filter further by adding additional items in the Smart Mailbox filters.

We hope this saves you time in your email filtering!

- The Macinhome Team

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First Macinhome comic ever!

April 30th, 2010

A plug from our friends at webcopyplus.com: - Apple users do indeed name their Macs. Sick? Crazy? We think not.

The outstanding SEO and web copywriting folks over at webcopyplus.com took it to the next level:

http://blog.webcopyplus.com/2010/04/19/mac-repairs-macinhome/

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iPad Incites Dreaded “Nerd Riot”

March 22nd, 2010

The Dreaded Nerd Riot

The Dreaded Nerd Riot

Cupertino, CA - Silicon Valley was set ablaze today, as thousands of nerds took to the streets in protest of the Apple iPad’s weeklong delay from “end of March” to “beginning of April”. The bespectacled crowd of awkward protestors, some carrying damning placards, made its way across town in an aimless, enraged march, obstructing traffic and chanting very verbose slogans.

What seemed at first to be a peaceful protest, calling quietly for Apple to revert to the iPad’s original March release date, took a grim turn at 12:34pm, when the sun was reportedly at its zenith.

“I guess they just hadn’t ever [been] in daylight that long before,” shrugs shocked witness Hal Jargonson. “One second, they was singing about Flash support or some such, and the next bricks was flying through the windows of my [expletive] grocery-store!”

Sweaty, malcontent, and bewildered by the sheer size of the world outside of their homes, the frenzied iPad supporters turned on each-other in what police described as a “nerd riot”.

By the time first-responders were on the scene, witnesses say it was far too late. After an initial burst of animal energy, during which time they overturned cars, smashed windows, and broke the multi-touch sensor on several iPhones, the nerds had all collapsed from massive heat exhaustion, and pre-emptive bruising.

“The smell was overpowering,” recalls Ken “Zip” Stillwater, S.W.A.T., “I had to turn the crowd-suppressing hose on them, for Pete’s sake.”

Currently, most of the nerds are resting comfortably at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital in Santa Clara, a facility better equipped to minister to their birdlike physique. No charges have been filed as of print time, with unsubstantiated reports circulating that the event might be ruled an Act Of God.

A similar nerd riot in Toronto, Canada over the iPad’s end-of-April Canadian release was similarly excused, despite the 43 counts of manslaughter.

“The onus of responsibility here lies on the shoulders of Steve Jobs,” says Crown Prosecutor Liam Rogers, over Skype, “if the nerds wanted to be held accountable for their own actions, they wouldn’t have made him their king.”

When reached for comment regarding these nerd-related tragedies, Steve Jobs gave routers a succinct response.

“This is but a taste of the iPad’s true power. Steel yourselves, my children. Steel yourselves.”

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